Doctor of Poopology?

I do have an earned Doctorate, but no one really asks me questions that have to do with that area in which I have studied and practiced for years. But, yesterday, I came to the realization that although I have no desire to study this particular area, I might as well get my degree in poopology; since that is where I am being asked the questions. If you have read my blog recently, then you know we had a new addition to our family a couple of weeks ago: Nikki. She is a couple of months old, and is a Yorkshire/Doxen mix. I am told that makes her a Dorkey (doesn't seem too complimentary).

Anyway, our kids have a day (their day) when they have certain responsibilities; which now also includes taking the dog out to do her "duty". However, I get the early morning and late night take out, since we certainly don't want to disturb the beauty sleep of all our beautiful children (I guess that is the reasoning). Anyway, yesterday, I realized what I am good for, as the husband and father of the household.

From upstairs, in the middle of the afternoon, I hear "Daddy, we need you". Now, that can be a very nice thing, an encouraging phrase to hear; but not so in this case. It was explained to me that I needed to take the dog outside to go #2 (if you don't know what that means, ask your young child). Why did I need to do that, I inquired? "Because she won't go #2 for us and you know how to get her to do that!" Naively, I actually took that as a compliment, and a challenge, and took our young pup out to do her thing...which she did.

When I triumphantly returned indoors, I was asked, as though I am the expert, as to how I did it. Again, ignorantly, I shared my "expertise" with the family. It didn't take me too long to realize what I had done. I, inadvertently, had become the #2 expert, and might as well have my doctorate in it. I am the one, now, that will be called on, to get the reluctant dog to do her thing. Great! Why didn't I learn, like many dads, that you are supposed to pretend you don't know how to do something, or do it very poorly, so that you will never be asked to do it again? I'm a slow learner I guess.

I would write some more, but I thing I hear my name being called.
Hand me the plastic bag.