BIRDS AND THE BEES

I have heard this phrase many times over my many years and I know the main topic that it refers to. However, I have never really heard anyone use birds and bees to teach the topic. I'm sure it exists out there somewhere. Nevertheless, I suppose the phrase still works; and sounds good. Now, for the reality.

Teresa and I grew up in a generation where the "Birds and the Bees" were not talked about often, from parents to children; although they were certainly willing to answer questions if we asked. We just never asked. I don't blame my parents, as they were great examples to us; and we certainly knew what was expected in terms of sexual activity.

So, we were left to learn about these things, in detail, from other people and other places. We determined that, for our children, in this generation, we would be the first to talk to our kids about sex. It is our desire that this is an on-going, open, discussion about sex and all issues surrounding it. We live in a world, today, that is much more direct about sex, and it hits our families on all sides. If we, as parents, don't take the offensive, our children will be inundated with the world's philosophy rather than ours...rather than a biblical one.

With that said, we have found that there is something special about the "first talk", the explanation of what sex is, and what God's plan has always been for it. When to have that talk depends on what information is available to that particular child, his/her interest in the topic; and how his/her body is developing. The key to knowing when is always prayer. We have now done it with 3 of our 5 children, and it has been at age 11 or 12. Once that time comes, we have found a very helpful resource, to use in talking in detail about this topic and in making it a very special occasion.

So, we do an overnight trip with the child, whose turn it is. If it is a boy, I will do it; and if it is a girl, Teresa will do it. And really, it's not just about sex, although that is a key topic. It is about purity, all around, in order to honor God. The main resource we use is a set of CD's we listen to, from Family Life Ministries, called Passport To Purity. This program also has other materials that are useful, including projects to do and discussion questions after listening to one of the CD's. We have found it nice that Family Life introduces the topic and leads us right into the important discussions we need to have. Any parent can follow this guideline.

We also try to go somewhere where the child would like to go, so that we can also have some fun together. Once the overnight is over, and everything has been discussed, we go out to eat to their favorite restaurant. The other parent meets us there and we have a great meal together. The topping of it all, ties it all together. At the end of the CD's, the child is challenged to sign their passport to purity, which is a committed to remain pure, sexually, until marriage. This is a commitment, before God, and commitment with parental support. The child will need loving support to remain pure until God gives them freedom to enjoy sex as a gift, with their husband or wife someday - just the way God planned it.

In order to celebrate this important decision and to make it memorable, we present our child with a purity ring, for the girls; and some type of meaningful symbol, like a sword, for the boys. It is to remind them of their commitment and that we are here to support them all the way in it. We will also let them know, as time goes on, that it doesn't matter what mistakes they make, or sins they commit, even in this area. We are going to support and help them. But, we believe it is important, at this time, to set the biblical challenge before them, and to try and cement it to their hearts, in a loving way. So far, it is been a meaningful experience, not just for our children, but for us as parents.

If you would like to look into this resource, you can go to the website:
www.FamilyLife.com
And then search: passport2purity