The Dark Room

Have you ever been in the "dark room". It has nothing to do with photography. I am speaking more metaphorical than physical, but nonetheless, it is dark. Some might describe it as depression, but even those who don't label it as depression, might still relate to my description of the "dark room."

I find myself there, almost with no warning; and even if moments earlier, I was in a room full of light. And I'm not sure if I entered a different room, or, and I am thinking this is the case, the dark room I find myself in was in fact the same room full of light just moments before. I don't necessarily have a physical response to the darkness, or an immense fear of any kind (except the fear that the darkness might not go away).

I say there is no physical response, but once I recognize I am in the dark room, I do feel differently. Everything seems different. I don't feel like doing anything. I am ultra-sensitive; and this is normally revealed in my sensitivity, not to light or temperature, but to others actions or attitudes, including words that others say. I find myself responding in the dark room, in ways that I normally would respond, when functioning in the light.

When I try to look for a way out of the room or a way to turn on some lights in the room, it is very frustrating. I can't find an easy way out and there seems to be no electricity or windows. I know the light sources are there (at least I think they are) because I just had light seconds ago. But, somehow, now in this dark room, there seems to be no way to get the light in quickly (or even at all).

What adds to the frustration is trying to figure out why I am in the dark room and why, with all of my efforts, even ones that have worked before, my environment is not changing. I also recognize that the longer I am in the dark room, without any light, the worse I feel, the the thinking patterns; and the worse the actions I feel capable of at any moment.

WHAT IS GOING ON?

Not sure if I am the only one who has even found himself in this dark room; but I doubt it. And I am not here to give any easy answers, because I found those "easy" answers are not always easy; and don't always "work", at least not my time frame. But, having spent probably about 8 straight hours in the dark room recently, I now look back on it, and have tried to learn some things from it. Maybe (or maybe not), the same things I am learning might encourage you:

1. It is important to recognize, as soon as possible, that I am in the dark room. In fact, if possible, it is best to realize I am heading into the dark room before I ever take the first step within it.

2. Being in the dark room could go exactly what God intended; or it could be my own sinful decisions that have brought me there. Eventually, evaluating why I am there or how I got there can be helpful in dealing with the consequences of being in the room; or even preventative to future visits .

3. Being in the dark room doesn't change the truths about God, about me, and about my relationship with God. The sooner I recognize it and admit it, the sooner I can apply those truths to my dark room experience.

Romans 15:13 - "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."