OK - maybe "almost" is a little strong word in this case; but...let me explain:
Teresa and I had gone to see the movie "Fireproof", starring Kirk Cameron. We really enjoyed it. It was on the same level, in our opinion as the movie "Facing the Giants". Fireproof dealt very well with the difficult topics of a marriage in trouble, pornography, and the temptation of adultery. In the midst of it, the gospel of Jesus Christ was clearly presented. In the movie, the character played by Cameron takes a "love dare". Receiving a book from his dad, he takes a challenge, every day for 40 days (from a journal), in order to pursue and "win" his wife back. Divorce seemed probable.
From the popularity of the movie, came the book "Love Dare". As the new year approached, I was praying about what God would want me to concentrate on as far as goals and improvement for 2009. He brought this book to mind. So, beginning January 6th, I undertook the challenge of reading one chapter a day and taking the love dare challenge at the end of each chapter. I also found a few other guys who were willing to do it and help keep each other accountable for doing it. Just knowing that other guys are also doing it is a great encouragement to me.
My hope, of course, is that I will improve as a husband during these 40 days; but that some of the principles will stick with me even when the 40 days are done. I feel we have a pretty good marriage; and yet I desire to be a better husband to Teresa and learn to love her more. I am now half way done, just finishing day 20 yesterday. It is scheduled to end February 14th (yes, on purpose!)
So, back to my "almost" burned off finger: one of the challenges, recently, was to prepare a dinner for my wife at home. Since I don't cook, and she wouldn't let me, even with her supervision, I ordered Chinese, set up a table for 2, with all the settings. This included candles. I don't know why, but I have a fear of fire; and I don't like to be close to it, no matter how small. And when it comes to candles, I ONLY use long lighters, where my hands are several inches away from the flame (and I even avoid that if I can).
But, when I could not find any lighters in the house (did someone hide them?), I put my own body at risk, took out a box of matches, took a match and struck it against the box...
KABOOM! (at least that's what I thought it sounded like). Everyone else would have thought a match was lit, no big deal. I lit the candles quickly (before my fingers burned off) and hailed myself as the most sacrificial loving husband ever...maybe not.
But, I'm trying. I'm taking the love dare and loving it (especially because my wife is as well!)
Take the challenge: I DARE YOU!
Monday, January 26, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
Growing in Grace
For the last few years, I have been struggling with this idea of how to grow in grace. The reason it is important is because it is a command for us to are followers of Christ:
II Peter 3:18 - "But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and forever. Amen."
We have a fairly good idea of what it means to grow in knowledge. But, what in the world does it mean to grow in grace? That is much more difficult. One of the ways we have tried to answer this question is with a list we have found and edited to fit our context. It is not as easy a list that is gives us steps 1, 2 and 3 that we just have to carry out. This list takes thought, evaluation, and constant practice:
1. Serve God for who He is and what He has done, not because we want to gain his acceptance through good works.
2. Live for God out of love and thankfulness, rather than guilt and duty.
3. Believe in biblical absolutes, but reject attempts to legislate the Christian life through human rules.
4. Accept people at their current level of spiritual development and encourage them to grow in an atmosphere of grace.
5. Commit to honesty and transparency, which models love and acceptance.
6. Place the emphasis on inner motivations rather than outward behaviors.
7. Refuse to deny or minimize the pain that comes into our lives as a result of our sin or the sins of others. Allow the pain to draw you to God.
8. Learn to forgive others as Jesus did, and point people, who do not know Him, to the God of grace.
9. Understand the biblical commands as describing the life befitting a Christian already accepted by God, not as laws that bring us more merit with God.
10. View our pain, in any form or area of life as a way for God’s power to be shown in our lives and for God to grow us.
I like this list; but it is still difficult to apply. When someone from my life group asked what it means to grow in grace, but couldn't wade through my long list. This motivated me to figure out a way to condense this to something I can remember; and that others could remember. It still won't be as easy as: "don't listen to that kind of music" or "tell your brother that you love him 3 times today"; but it could be something to keep in mind; and continually practice.
So, this is what I was thinking: how about list of 3 things that works toward answering the question:
How Do I Grow In Grace?
1. Receive the free gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ
2. See yourself as God sees you
3. Love others as Jesus loves you
If we are constantly thinking of these 3 things, and considering how it translates to real life, is it possible that this is a way to GROW IN GRACE?
What do you think?
II Peter 3:18 - "But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and forever. Amen."
We have a fairly good idea of what it means to grow in knowledge. But, what in the world does it mean to grow in grace? That is much more difficult. One of the ways we have tried to answer this question is with a list we have found and edited to fit our context. It is not as easy a list that is gives us steps 1, 2 and 3 that we just have to carry out. This list takes thought, evaluation, and constant practice:
1. Serve God for who He is and what He has done, not because we want to gain his acceptance through good works.
2. Live for God out of love and thankfulness, rather than guilt and duty.
3. Believe in biblical absolutes, but reject attempts to legislate the Christian life through human rules.
4. Accept people at their current level of spiritual development and encourage them to grow in an atmosphere of grace.
5. Commit to honesty and transparency, which models love and acceptance.
6. Place the emphasis on inner motivations rather than outward behaviors.
7. Refuse to deny or minimize the pain that comes into our lives as a result of our sin or the sins of others. Allow the pain to draw you to God.
8. Learn to forgive others as Jesus did, and point people, who do not know Him, to the God of grace.
9. Understand the biblical commands as describing the life befitting a Christian already accepted by God, not as laws that bring us more merit with God.
10. View our pain, in any form or area of life as a way for God’s power to be shown in our lives and for God to grow us.
I like this list; but it is still difficult to apply. When someone from my life group asked what it means to grow in grace, but couldn't wade through my long list. This motivated me to figure out a way to condense this to something I can remember; and that others could remember. It still won't be as easy as: "don't listen to that kind of music" or "tell your brother that you love him 3 times today"; but it could be something to keep in mind; and continually practice.
So, this is what I was thinking: how about list of 3 things that works toward answering the question:
How Do I Grow In Grace?
1. Receive the free gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ
2. See yourself as God sees you
3. Love others as Jesus loves you
If we are constantly thinking of these 3 things, and considering how it translates to real life, is it possible that this is a way to GROW IN GRACE?
What do you think?
Monday, January 12, 2009
I am going to die in the next 10 seconds...
This thought crossed my mind as I was sliding toward the cross street. It was a wintry, icy night, as I left my house to head the 7 miles to the church to play in the basketball league. I was excited that the league was starting back up, but not so excited that our first game was at 9:30 p.m. That's past my bedtime. I'm not good for much of anything at that late hour! But, for basketball, I made an exception, and I was still excited.
Every time there is any snow on the ground, or ice, or it's raining, or if the forecast calls for any inclement weather (over the next week), I make it my excuse to use the suburan, although it is gas guzzling fiend. I feel safer in it (especially in bad weather) and I just like driving it. I love having my first four-wheel drive vehicle, but I sometimes forget that ice is still ice, big 4 wheel drive car or not.
I was driving fairly slowly down my side street, figuring I would take my time getting there, because I could tell it was icy. But as I saw a couple cars pull onto our street, and I tried to apply the brake, a long ways before the stop sign and cross road, I began to slide. Pumping did nothing, and I knew right away that there was no stopping this car. I could have possibly pulled it into the ditch on my right; but instead I keep trying to stop it as I slid, with no dry ground in sight.
In my mind, I imagined what I figured was inevitable: I would go out into the intersection and get broadsided on the drivers side; and that would be it...atleast for my time here on earth. I tensed up (which I realize is not a good thing to do); and I began to pray (that is a good thing to do). As I slid past the stop sign into the crossroad, I looked left, relieved there was no car in sight (I was surprised as well); then to my right, and again, no cars (very rare). In the middle of the crossroad, I hit a dry patch, the tires took hold, and I was able to turn right, even though I needed to go left. That's o.k. The fact that I was still living, and the bonus that the car was still without a scratch, made me not care so much that I was headed the wrong direction!
Once I turned around, and headed back past my street, I then saw a stream of cars, probably 7 in a row racing past me. I continued praising God: "Lord, those cars could have been here a minute ago; and I would have been with you. Thank you for saving my life." I then spent the rest of the trip to church talking to God about the brevity of life, how grateful I was for the time I had; and how committed I was to using whatever days He had left for me, for His glory.
As I am sure we all have had, I have also had past "near death" experiences. I realize that it is also possible that I could have been hit and still survived; but I also know the possibility that I would not have. But, this was the most recent one for me; and it is in moments like this, that everything seems to become crystal clear: what is truly important and what is temporal; time I have wasted, and times in which I have invested in people; what I need to focus on in the future, and what I shouldn't take so seriously.
I think I grew a little bit more in those 10 seconds; and I pray it will result in a more dedicated life with the breath I have left.
Thanks again God.
Every time there is any snow on the ground, or ice, or it's raining, or if the forecast calls for any inclement weather (over the next week), I make it my excuse to use the suburan, although it is gas guzzling fiend. I feel safer in it (especially in bad weather) and I just like driving it. I love having my first four-wheel drive vehicle, but I sometimes forget that ice is still ice, big 4 wheel drive car or not.
I was driving fairly slowly down my side street, figuring I would take my time getting there, because I could tell it was icy. But as I saw a couple cars pull onto our street, and I tried to apply the brake, a long ways before the stop sign and cross road, I began to slide. Pumping did nothing, and I knew right away that there was no stopping this car. I could have possibly pulled it into the ditch on my right; but instead I keep trying to stop it as I slid, with no dry ground in sight.
In my mind, I imagined what I figured was inevitable: I would go out into the intersection and get broadsided on the drivers side; and that would be it...atleast for my time here on earth. I tensed up (which I realize is not a good thing to do); and I began to pray (that is a good thing to do). As I slid past the stop sign into the crossroad, I looked left, relieved there was no car in sight (I was surprised as well); then to my right, and again, no cars (very rare). In the middle of the crossroad, I hit a dry patch, the tires took hold, and I was able to turn right, even though I needed to go left. That's o.k. The fact that I was still living, and the bonus that the car was still without a scratch, made me not care so much that I was headed the wrong direction!
Once I turned around, and headed back past my street, I then saw a stream of cars, probably 7 in a row racing past me. I continued praising God: "Lord, those cars could have been here a minute ago; and I would have been with you. Thank you for saving my life." I then spent the rest of the trip to church talking to God about the brevity of life, how grateful I was for the time I had; and how committed I was to using whatever days He had left for me, for His glory.
As I am sure we all have had, I have also had past "near death" experiences. I realize that it is also possible that I could have been hit and still survived; but I also know the possibility that I would not have. But, this was the most recent one for me; and it is in moments like this, that everything seems to become crystal clear: what is truly important and what is temporal; time I have wasted, and times in which I have invested in people; what I need to focus on in the future, and what I shouldn't take so seriously.
I think I grew a little bit more in those 10 seconds; and I pray it will result in a more dedicated life with the breath I have left.
Thanks again God.
Monday, January 5, 2009
New Year - Same Old Stuff
I thought, perhaps, that in the new year, nothing else would break down or get broken or destroyed. That new year's resolution didn't last long!
I was excited last Saturday, after a morning of counseling at church, to sit and watch the NFL playoff games that night. The only thing Teresa asked me to do was to pick up a couple couches from a friend who was giving them to us. No problem. So, I stop by their house and pick up the smaller couch, since the larger one wouldn't fit in the car. It wasn't too difficult to get that couch downstairs, with a little finagling and taking some paint off walls that had been recently re-done. Oh well, one down. We also had to take up the couch that had been downstairs, since we were selling it and making room for these we were receiving. We got up most of the sectional, but just had the hide-a-way bed part left.
It wasn't too hard to find a different friend to loan me his truck so that I could pick up the larger couch. However, I knew I would need help getting that one down the stairs, so I asked my friend who was giving me the couch if he would come over for a few minutes and help me get it down. Little did he, or I, know that those "few minutes" would turn into a few hours, ending in utter failure and destruction!
He graciously offered to come help, even though he had other places to go, and had, just that morning, run a 32 mile marathon (yes, I said 32 miles). If I had done that, not only would I be unavailable to help anyone move couches that day, I would unavailable for anything, except laying around and sleeping, and probably some moaning in pain. But, this is a nice guy and he came over. The first project was to get the smaller, hide a way bed out of the basement. An hour later, it was up the stairs, but our stair decor was a little altered.
We got stuck getting it up the steps; and at some point, it began to break through the wall. We did get the couch out, but only because the huge hole in the wall now allowed some more wiggle room. We also took off one of the light switches (broke it off, that is) so that the lightswitch that is still there in the stairway doesn't work now either. We have no lights in half of our basement. I guess if I get fired as a pastor, I won't be applying to be a mover. So, that was supposed to be the easy part.
The big couch just simply would not go down the stairs - no matter what we tried. We took off closet doors to give us more room near the doorway to the basement. We took of the door going down to the basement, plus the trim on the doorway. Still, we could not get it down. We took of the legs of the couch and tried it every way possible (at least the ones we could think of). My friend with the truck finally came over, wondering how my need to borrow his truck for a few minutes turned into over 3 hours. He helped us try to get the couch down as well. No luck.
We finally gave up and put it in the living room with all the other couches and chairs we already had. Now, we are going to have to change the decorating scheme or get new couches. Fun, fun, fun! My truck friend helped clear out the hole so that it can be repaired; and my other friend, who gave us the couches in the first place, helped us put things all back together.
We are left with inadequate seating downstairs, too much seating upstairs, painted chipped off walls, scratches on the hardwood floor, broken lightswitches, less lighting, and a huge hole in the wall. What a fun adventure to begin the new year!
I learned at least 3 things from this:
1. I know how to break things but not how to fix things
2. Stuff is stuff and it really doesn't matter (although it is tempting to think it does)
3. We have great friends - awesome friends!
I was excited last Saturday, after a morning of counseling at church, to sit and watch the NFL playoff games that night. The only thing Teresa asked me to do was to pick up a couple couches from a friend who was giving them to us. No problem. So, I stop by their house and pick up the smaller couch, since the larger one wouldn't fit in the car. It wasn't too difficult to get that couch downstairs, with a little finagling and taking some paint off walls that had been recently re-done. Oh well, one down. We also had to take up the couch that had been downstairs, since we were selling it and making room for these we were receiving. We got up most of the sectional, but just had the hide-a-way bed part left.
It wasn't too hard to find a different friend to loan me his truck so that I could pick up the larger couch. However, I knew I would need help getting that one down the stairs, so I asked my friend who was giving me the couch if he would come over for a few minutes and help me get it down. Little did he, or I, know that those "few minutes" would turn into a few hours, ending in utter failure and destruction!
He graciously offered to come help, even though he had other places to go, and had, just that morning, run a 32 mile marathon (yes, I said 32 miles). If I had done that, not only would I be unavailable to help anyone move couches that day, I would unavailable for anything, except laying around and sleeping, and probably some moaning in pain. But, this is a nice guy and he came over. The first project was to get the smaller, hide a way bed out of the basement. An hour later, it was up the stairs, but our stair decor was a little altered.
We got stuck getting it up the steps; and at some point, it began to break through the wall. We did get the couch out, but only because the huge hole in the wall now allowed some more wiggle room. We also took off one of the light switches (broke it off, that is) so that the lightswitch that is still there in the stairway doesn't work now either. We have no lights in half of our basement. I guess if I get fired as a pastor, I won't be applying to be a mover. So, that was supposed to be the easy part.
The big couch just simply would not go down the stairs - no matter what we tried. We took off closet doors to give us more room near the doorway to the basement. We took of the door going down to the basement, plus the trim on the doorway. Still, we could not get it down. We took of the legs of the couch and tried it every way possible (at least the ones we could think of). My friend with the truck finally came over, wondering how my need to borrow his truck for a few minutes turned into over 3 hours. He helped us try to get the couch down as well. No luck.
We finally gave up and put it in the living room with all the other couches and chairs we already had. Now, we are going to have to change the decorating scheme or get new couches. Fun, fun, fun! My truck friend helped clear out the hole so that it can be repaired; and my other friend, who gave us the couches in the first place, helped us put things all back together.
We are left with inadequate seating downstairs, too much seating upstairs, painted chipped off walls, scratches on the hardwood floor, broken lightswitches, less lighting, and a huge hole in the wall. What a fun adventure to begin the new year!
I learned at least 3 things from this:
1. I know how to break things but not how to fix things
2. Stuff is stuff and it really doesn't matter (although it is tempting to think it does)
3. We have great friends - awesome friends!
Thursday, January 1, 2009
HOPING THIS IS NOT A SIGN FOR 2009
I like to be on time; or early. I put value on punctuality. My dad instilled this in me at a young age. I don't remember ever being late to church, school or work. It was just something you didn't do. And if anyone else was late, well...they lost a little respect in my eyes. Of course, God knowing what is best for me, and having a great sense of humor, he gave me a wonderful wife (did you see I wrote wonderful?) who had a different experience growing up. Being early to anything was a crazy idea (why would you want to be early?). Instead, being 5 minutes late was considered "on time" (at least this is my interpretation of this particular part of her family history).
We've made it work. Sometimes we are early (not often), sometimes late, and mostly on-time (the real on-time). But I, personally, still value being on time and early,if possible. So, heading into a new year, there was no reason to change that. This was going to be a priority, something I would continue, naturally, from my childhood. This would set the precedent for the remainder of the year. There was no reason to think anything would be different.
Last night, as is our tradition on New Year's Eve, we host a party, inviting different people from our church each year. Along with tradition, we also play games and then watch the ball drop in times Square (from our TV of course) at midnight. No reason to think that plan would change. Through the night, I kept watching the time, to make sure that we would all celebrate the new year coming in with our tradition.
Then, all of a sudden, as though someone stole an hour or so, I looked at my watch and saw that it was just before midnight. In the middle of a game, I announced, as I looked at my watch, that the ball would probably drop within 2 minutes; and we all started to head downstairs. Then, I looked at my watch again, and it looked like less than one minute. Still, I was confident that we would hear the 10 second countdown and everything would be perfect.
Everyone gathered around (about 30 of us) and I turned on the TV. To my dismay, the ball had just dropped (it was over!) and we were now watching everyone in Times Square celebrating: people kissing, people taking pictures, confetti dropping, and even Bill and Hillary Clinton dancing (glad I didn't miss that!). I couldn't believe it. The first appointment of the new year, and I was late for it!
How disheartening. I let everyone down. Now, mind you, no one was hissing or booing or making obscene gestures (that I saw anyway); but still, for me, it was utter failure. Is there any hope of turning this around in 2009? Can I redeem myself, or is this entire year doomed? I hope this is not a sign for the rest of 2009. I guess we will have to wait and see...
We've made it work. Sometimes we are early (not often), sometimes late, and mostly on-time (the real on-time). But I, personally, still value being on time and early,if possible. So, heading into a new year, there was no reason to change that. This was going to be a priority, something I would continue, naturally, from my childhood. This would set the precedent for the remainder of the year. There was no reason to think anything would be different.
Last night, as is our tradition on New Year's Eve, we host a party, inviting different people from our church each year. Along with tradition, we also play games and then watch the ball drop in times Square (from our TV of course) at midnight. No reason to think that plan would change. Through the night, I kept watching the time, to make sure that we would all celebrate the new year coming in with our tradition.
Then, all of a sudden, as though someone stole an hour or so, I looked at my watch and saw that it was just before midnight. In the middle of a game, I announced, as I looked at my watch, that the ball would probably drop within 2 minutes; and we all started to head downstairs. Then, I looked at my watch again, and it looked like less than one minute. Still, I was confident that we would hear the 10 second countdown and everything would be perfect.
Everyone gathered around (about 30 of us) and I turned on the TV. To my dismay, the ball had just dropped (it was over!) and we were now watching everyone in Times Square celebrating: people kissing, people taking pictures, confetti dropping, and even Bill and Hillary Clinton dancing (glad I didn't miss that!). I couldn't believe it. The first appointment of the new year, and I was late for it!
How disheartening. I let everyone down. Now, mind you, no one was hissing or booing or making obscene gestures (that I saw anyway); but still, for me, it was utter failure. Is there any hope of turning this around in 2009? Can I redeem myself, or is this entire year doomed? I hope this is not a sign for the rest of 2009. I guess we will have to wait and see...
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