Will you mentor me please? NO!

I probably didn’t word it in this way; but it is the basic question I have asked a few people. There was a particular, well known youth speaker, when I was in college, that I wanted to learn from and stay in contact with. I asked if he would be willing to be a part of my prayer partners. These are guys that agree to pray for me once a week, I pray for them once a week, and I send them prayer and praise updates monthly. I was hoping this particular spiritual leader would be willing to build into my life into the future. He said: “No thank you. I don’t have the time.”

Over the years, I have learned from many guys. Some were friends, some were younger, some older. I really learned a lot from my youth pastor, Greg Bishop, who was a great model of someone who built into the lives of young men. I learned a ton from Robert Smith, my pastor when I was on internship in seminary. He taught me about how to think through ministry philosophy and strategy. I have certainly learned from my dad, who I grew up admiring and still admire today. He has show me what it means to follow God wholeheartedly and allow that relationship with God affect every aspect of life. He taught me to make the most of my time and to work hard with integrity.

But, my search for someone older in ministry to help mentor me in ministry and life has not worked out so well. First of all, it is very difficult to find someone that I feel has a close philosophy of ministry to mine. I think that is important so that he will be able to understand where I am coming from, in order to help me be more effective. It is also hard to find someone willing to open up his own life, including his failures and struggles. I can usually tell, even in casual conversation, whether or not a certain person would be a good mentor for me.

Last year, I was really convicted about asking a particular someone, more seasoned in ministry, to help me through a variety of challenges I was facing. So, I took him out to lunch and asked him to help me. He put me off, and put me off, and put me off. Finally, a few weeks ago, he called me to let me know that he could not mentor me. And we had previously agreed to only meet once a month or so; but still this was too much for him. Believe me, I do understand. He has physical challenges, and so does his wife; but to see how a godly man works through those challenges to still serve God humbly would have been a great thing for me to experience.

Recently, I had the opportunity to hear someone speak who leads a ministry in another state. I knew that he could not mentor me long term, but I did fully believe that he could help me think through a couple of things, and since some of his past experiences are mirroring my present ones, I was sure he would atleast give me a single phone conversation. No such luck (ok – all you theologians out there – don’t criticize me for using the word luck!)

He said, in his e-mail, that he used to help pastors, but no longer. He could not give me any time and if I wanted help, he would suggest a strange pastor in my state that could help me. I guess I expected something like this; but it was still disappointing. Why is it so hard for men who have been in ministry so many years to give back, just a little bit, to younger guys (no, I’m not calling myself young…just younger), to encourage and help them?

I have made a decision. If I ever get asked by anyone to help them grow in their spiritual life and ministry, I will not turn them down. I will, at the very least, have a conversation with them to determine how I can be a long term help; or if there is someone else that can truly help them (and I will help in that process). I don’t have any great ministry successes to share with others (or that would cause them to ask me for help); but I can offer a listening ear, support, encouragement and prayer. Perhaps God would use me in someone’s life; even though I have not seen it modeled for me.

I know this lies with me. I need to keep praying, keep looking, and keep asking men if they would allow me to learn from them. At some point, somewhere down the line, I bet (again, no crticisms for using the word "bet", plesae) I will actually hear the answer: "YES, I would be happy to!"