All in Disagreement, Say I

I have noticed an interesting phenomenon in my 15 years of ministering as a pastor. It is courageous and bold to disagree with the world's system and criticism all things worldly. It is seen as noble to highly criticize other religious groups that do not do things quite the way "we" do them. No one within "our circles" would have a problem with that. We might even highly disagree with others in our same association of churches; but it is not too difficult as long as they minister in another state; or at least are not too connected to us. This issue certainly deserves some thoughtful consideration. But, what is on my mind is what happens within our own churches, among our own staffs, with our families and friends.

I find that we are deathly afraid of conflict. We somehow feel like like we must agree or something is wrong. We must agree or there will be no unity. We must agree or the Devil wins. We must agree or the church will split. We must agree or we are not honoring God. These things may not be said out loud; but based on my experiences, we hide or run from conflict within the church at all costs, based on one of the above statements or something like it.

I have come to believe the opposite. I think when there is no conflict, something is wrong. I don't think lack of conflict means unity, necessarily; but may instead point to people who are not willing to face reality and work through tough issues. A church doesn't split over conflict. They split when they are unwilling to face the conflict in God honoring ways. I think the Devil wins when we pretend everything is o.k.; and God wins when we challenge one another and grow through conflict. That is my opinion.

I find that when someone who I know cares for me is willing to "argue" with me about some issue in the Scriptures or ministry, it has a sharpening affect on me. It causes me to really think about what I believe about something and why. It forces me to make sound arguments; and to listen carefully to "the other side." It is a healthy thing, in my opinion, when two or more people or two or more groups get in a healthy disagreement. They have the opportunity to show grace and love as "both sides" share their viewpoint.

It is true that it gets more challenging when emotions are high; and yet, I believe that issues that bring out strong emotion have a much greater possibilityof producing spiritual growth than a non-emotional, unattached from the heart topic. Once two people or groups come through a disagreement in a God honoring way, I believe they are more closely connected, more appreciative of one another; and maybe even softer in their hearts toward others, from the "outside" who disagree.

One of the reasons I am not so critical of others and different viewpoints, as I have been in the past, is because I had to face conflict with people I loved about certain issues. I grew through those, was forced to evaluate my opinions; and put them in the context of love and grace.
May you have a great disagreement today that will produce more godliness - for His glory!