But, as I sit here this morning, thinking about the stuff that I am going through right now in my life and ministry, I cannot think of a better Psalm - to be strengthened by, and to possibly encourage others with. I hope you will be.
Psalm 139
v.1 - O LORD, you have searched me and known me!
v.2 - You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar.
v.3 - You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways.
v.4 - Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.
v.5 - You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.
v.6 - Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it.
Lord, you know everything about me. You know what I do, what I think, and the motivations of my heart. No one knows me like you. That means you also know exactly what is going on right now, in my life and ministry. But, you don't just know my part, but you know everyone who is involved. You have it all figured out. You are surrounding me. What do I need to be afraid of?
I can't comprehend this in my mind. I don't know your thoughts or your ways; but I trust you.
v.7 - Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence?
v.8 - If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
v.9 - If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
v.10 - Even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me.
v.11 - If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night
v.12 - Even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day; for darkness is as light with you.
I especially think of the fact, God, that the Holy Spirit lives inside of me, since I am one of yours. There is no where I can go, that you are not there. It is not just the idea of going to the store, or to the church, or to Brazil on a trip, where I can expect to find you. It is when I am filled with joy, peace and hope; and when I am filled with discouragement and am ready to quit. You are there. When the sun is shining and things seem great and when the darkness doesn't seem to lift, you are there. You are holding my hand through this. I don't need to be afraid. You see everything; and the steps ahead are very clear to you. If you don't mind, would you please hold my hand a little tighter?
v.13 - For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
v.14 - I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well
v.15 - My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
v.16 - Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them.
v.17 - How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!
v.18 - If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you.
You knew me, God, before I came out of my mother's womb. Your formed my body type. I am not a mistake. And I can't get away from the fact that a part of your wonderful creation was my personality. I have never called my personality wonderful, and I can't remember any human being ever doing so either; but I am going to take you at your Word: everything about me, as it relates to your creation, is just right...wonderful. Thanks for the encouragement.
Why am I trying to figure everything out. It seems all I do is think, and think some more, and then try to figure that out, and that person out and that phrase out...think, think, think. So, I think - I should concentrate, like David, on your precious thoughts. You have this all figured out, don't you? If I try to count your thoughts, and your omniscience of what has taken place and is taking place, it would take me the rest of my life. So, maybe, just maybe, I should rest in your presence, which is with me, at all times...deep breath
v.19 - Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God! O men of blood, depart from me!
v.20 - They speak against you with malicious intent; your enemies take your name in vain!v.21 - Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD? And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?
v.22 - I hate them with complete hatred; I count them my enemies.
As I mentioned in the memorial service, this part seems somewhat out of place. Why would David say this? Was he sinning when he did? Why would God allow this to be include in this, otherwise, encouraging Psalm, directed at uplifting God? It speaks to me in this way, as I direct it back to God:
Lord, this is a difficult part of this prayer. I don't get it; but this is how it is speaking to me. I can't hate a person, but I do hate the sin I not only see in myself, but others. I hate the lies that have been spoken recently. They are destructive, not just to me, but to the church and to your reputation. No one can touch you, but as you know, your reputation is damaged when your people attack one another rather than follow your example of grace and forgiveness. So, Lord, even though it puts me at risk, help me to stand up for your truth, for your gospel, and for you, when others dare to challenge you.
v.23 - Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!
v.24 - And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!
The only thing I can control, God, is to search my own heart and ask you to search it. I want to know if I am in the wrong. I want to know if I have sinned. I want to know if I am thinking wrong, have the wrong heart attitude, or need to do something differently. Please help me. You know my thoughts. Help me understand. I confess my sins to you. I want to honor you with my life.
You are my everything God. I am placing all of my hope on you.
Amen.
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