Does that sound strange? It seemed strange writing those words. What does it mean?
I suppose I need to define the words first. The idea that "I have learned" anything may sound like I have it figured out. The opposite is true. I should probably re-word all of these to say that "I am learning", because it is a continual learning process for me in every area. I define worship as: "responding to who God is and what He has done by giving myself completely to Him."
This is a life long learning process; but by God's grace, I have come a long way. And just because I have been a pastor for so many years certainly does not mean that I automatically knew how to worship, and never really struggled with it. There are a variety of areas of worship, especially as it concerns life worship that I have had to learn. One of those areas has to do with responding to God through musical worship.
When I was growing up and into my adult years, my laid back personality and conservative roots led me to worship in a fairly somber way. Regardless of the song I was singing, I might sing out loudly, but never really use any other part of my body to respond to God and His awesome truth. I would keep my eyes open, my hands at my side, my body in stillness; and if my foot started to involuntarily twitch, I would try to control it!
I used to look at people who expressed themselves in worship as "charismatic" and therefore, according to my tradition, out of whack biblically, and in need of some composure. But, over the years, I have come to admire and appreciate those, charismatic or not, who are willing to celebrate God and His truth, not just with their voices, but all of their heart and soul, in biblically appropriate responses.
I did also learn that once you express yourself in worship, publicly, that there will be stares, open comments, and even some behind the back ones. It comes with the territory for worshipers who are attempting to be faithful to God by worshiping in "spirit and in truth." And since I love being behind the scenes, and not be noticed by anyone, it has been especially hard for me to get used to. My focus has been on the God I am worshiping rather than on the people I would love to please.
So, here are some of the ways God has taught me to worship (through times of music), to respond to Him:
- close my eyes
- bow my head
- raise my hands (all different levels! - I picture Tim Hawkins presentation of hand raising-funny)
- pray while others are singing
- singing at the top of my lungs even if I have a bad voice
- tap my feet
- clap my hands
- in different ways, at different times, according to how I sense God leading
- with full focus on God rather than on what others might think
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